IN-BETWEEN

I’m tired and I’ve eaten a lot and taken in a lot and entertained a lot and it’s been just a lot. And I’m in waiting mode. In the middle of something and waiting. And in the meantime, Umair Haque writes this amazing new post that I wish I could write about.

I have this oceanic year-end wrap post swirling around somewhere, I just know it.

And all the pushing and bubbling - the unconscious process underway and the external expectations pressing down and, well, it’s all a big messy soup.

And where am I? Well I’m in that bridge time between Christmas and New Year so I feel out of time. And not particularly inclined to write. And yet, as always, feeling pressure.

Can I tolerate this in-between time?

So much has been done. So much has been accomplished. Can I just for once rest in it?

I am often astonished in the therapy room by how quickly we move from really big brave work to a sense of “what’s next”?

The ability to integrate, rest, bear not knowing what’s next for a little while. That is part of the work too.

And so it’s time to make lunch. And then I’ll get dressed for a party later this afternoon. And life will continue in this slowed down kind of way.

And the deflation and excitement that Umair’s piece evoked will have to wait.

And the next big piece of work will have to wait.

For now we just sit, looking at each other, and being here. Which is not where we were, and not yet at the next big thing.

And our nervous systems, if we can stay here in this in-between place, our nervous systems will thank us. Which has a ripple effect through our families, friends, and communities.

So it’s not bad work this staying still. Taking a bit of a holiday. Sitting here looking at each other.

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