NOT THE VALENTINE’S STORY THAT MAKES HALLMARK RICH

Whether we are talking about a romantic relationship, what happens in the therapy room, or the early interactions between toddler and mother we are talking about the same thing: Is it alright that you are this way and I am that way? Can we tolerate the tension in energies between this and that, us and them?

Can we breathe and stand tall and be who we are while the other is completely different?

And can we do this in love? By that I mean, can we do this with an open heart to the person who in this moment is so different from us?

We each are finding our way in life. Through our intuition, our mind, our curiosities, and our circumstances.

We each have the ability to survey our lives. To take stock.

And our ability to do this depends on the extent to which others have let us be us.

And the fate of the world depends, very deeply, on our ability to do this for others.

To become broad and strong and flexible and open and unwavering and rocked all at the same time.

Misunderstanding. The process of coming to understanding. This requires something of us. It requires us to tolerate the bumps involved in the lifelong process of understanding.

Our intimate relationships. Is it possible that both love and abandonment exist in the same person?

And sometimes ourselves. Our joyous engaged shut down devastated selves. Can we hold these contradicting parts of us?

Oh we are so tied to making sense.

It’s futile.

No one’s right. No one’s wrong. There is no one way that you should be.

It’s all here. It’s all part of it.

Coming into ourselves is about letting others be themselves.

And then responding.

This is not passive work.