Things that would have made a difference 15 years ago #1

Things I wish someone had told me 15 years ago.

This is the first in a series.  The premise might seem suspect and of course it is.  We each have our journey and we can't skip steps.  I, like each of us, became aware of each thing I learned as I was ready to become aware.

And at the same time - if someone had sat me down with love and helped me understand some of these principles and directed me in how to actualize them in my life - I believe I could have been saved a great deal of pain.

Things that would have made a difference fifteen years ago #1:

Your environment is confirming your beliefs about yourself.

I had senior roles the last few years of my Bay Street career.  Still, I was afraid to speak up and to share my true views at the firm I worked at.  I thought I must be wrong or confused because other people didn't think as I did.  

How did I end up feeling?  Powerless and unheard.  And frustrated - big time.

I spent some time believing the people I worked for were insensitive.  Until I took responsibility.  I would do it so differently a second time round.  I would ask all my questions.  I would say what I saw.  From a grounded and confident place.  That would have changed everything in my experience of work - I know that people would have responded to me differently.  There would have been more fun, camaraderie and success.

This concept of how we create our realities is perhaps one of the most profound and mystical statements about life.  It takes time to see it - to understand how this is operating.

Once you get it you can't un-see it.  It leads to a radical level of self-responsibility which leads to infinite potential for everything that you want to achieve and be.

It doesn't mean that everything that happens is your fault/responsibility.  What it means is that the ongoing choices you make create your life.

At work and at home whatever you are engaged in is what you have created.  When it no longer fits your beliefs about yourself you will end it.

We tend to get caught in blame - critiquing our bosses, colleagues, spouses.....  if only they could be better.

This is not a productive use of energy.  We generally can't change people.  Especially not with blame and critique.

So what is the productive use of energy?  Self-reflection.  Self-responsibility.  Acknowledging our part in the dynamic.  Why are we satisfied with something that isn't working?  Usually it is because we have buried beliefs about our value.

Another way of stating the lesson is this:  What we believe about ourselves is reflected all around us in how people treat us on an ongoing basis.  

The actualization of this understanding takes time.  To truly assume authority for our lives requires a willingness to feel, flow and learn.  It’s a quest.

Another way of saying this is there is a shift from fighting with the external world to fighting with ourselves.  Which hopefully becomes a gentle conversation…. and when we are on the path of working with ourselves as conscious creators… our relationship with the external world changes entirely.  

That’s the magic.

*Thank you to my teachers in Core Energetics, Thinking Into Results, and my spiritual path for this wisdom.